Real Mothers ...

Someone sent this to me ...

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it (who ever makes quiche ... I don't even know what that is. Does it have Macaroni in it? I can make that.)

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox (is that why I found a teaspoon on the front porch this morning? Last night Kaci was chewing on an egg beater ... no idea.)

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids (yup, yup and yup, although my husband promised to shampoo the carpets this weekend -- the twins love to throw food like Spaghetti, and milk and um, yeah).

Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets (I don't know about play dough. Just spaghetti)

Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up (why vacuum? They just mess it up again. Actually, vacuuming in my house means John gets out the shop vac. It sucks up whole food better)

Help, please?

Little Kaci and her pacifier

Kaci and Brett

Breaking the binky addiction a tough task for parents

Tales from the crib

Amy Bickel

The Hutchinson News

abickel@hutchnews.com

She tears apart the house. Her eyes watering, she frantically searches the floor and under her bed. In desperation, she peers up on cabinets and dressers. She's like an addict trying to get a fix - a dieter trying to find some sweets hidden in the kitchen.

She is a 17-month-old in search of her pacifier.

I'm ashamed to say it. My youngest daughter, Kaci, has an addiction.

My husband, John, and I are the parents of twin daughters - Brett and Kaci. We've been on a journey for nearly 1 1/2 years, trying to learn the ins and outs of raising our firstborns.

We've been through the spitting-up-on-mommy-and-daddy stage and the let's-throw-solid-food-on-the-floor stage.

We're still in the everything-is-mine stage.

The latest feat, however, is the get-rid-of-the-pacifier-cold-turkey stage.

We have a lot to learn.

As soon as they were born, the nurse gave our girls pacifiers.

Since then, John and I have spent money making sure their little mouths are happy.

Pacis help get them to sleep. Pacis keep them calm during rides home from day care.

It keeps them from crying during outings to public places - like sporting events, restaurants or the grocery store.

Ultimately: A pacifier nips a screaming baby's tantrum quickly. And when a baby wakes up wailing at midnight, John and I have been known, in a frantic state, to scour the baby-room floor ourselves.

I think we're just as addicted to the little sucker as they are.

Now, we're trying to fight the binky battle. Progress is slow.

Little Brett has been a champ. She doesn't seem to mind the fact she doesn't get her pacifier anymore. She's too high on life.

Kaci, however, bursts into tears every time we take it away. She doesn't sleep without it. She even has a name for it - her ba-pa.

There's a statistic out there that says 40 percent of smokers try to quit each year but fail. I now can understand why.

I keep trying to get rid of it, but frankly, I don't have the guts.

I like my sleep. I like quietness.

Is there a pacifier's anonymous?

We are making progress - slowly but surely. And someday, John and I will be able to look back and say proudly: She's been clean for six weeks, six months, maybe even a year.

For now, pacifier anyone?

Any advice? E-mail Amy at abickel@hutchnews.com. Visit http://www.hutchcountry.com/talesfromthecrib/ to read more about the twins.
"Tales from the Crib" runs quarterly.

Copyright (c) 2008, The Hutchinson Publishing Co.

We got a grant!

Brett and Kaci in their wagon at our town's football field

where Daddy coaches high school football.

Thanks to our little girls, Brett and Kaci, the town I live in will have an outfield fence for the ball field.

This summer, I wrote a grant for the KC Royals Charities, which offers $5,000 matching grants. Besides telling them about the need for the town, I mentioned Brett and Kaci.


If you haven't guessed by now, little Brett is named after KC's great George Brett. Daddy, a die-hard Braves fan, picked out the name and spelling of Kaci without realizing the significance. I didn't tell him until after she was officially named, either.


How cool is that?


Anyway, the grant committee called this week to tell us we got the grant. They also said they loved the pictures we sent of the girls.


Of course they did!

Future duck caller

Little Brett learns how to blow on a duck call from Daddy.

Children's science exam answers

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can
be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it
removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and
canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome .

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.